Some would say, moaning feels great for some reason. We get satisfaction from it, it makes us feel better. Remarkably, in some contexts, it can also be seen as a sign of intelligence.
You know who I mean, for instance, the person who sits in a meeting and trashes all the new thoughts and ideas that come up. Dismissing them out of hand without any real thought, to make themselves look better than others. Moaning is also an easy option, much easier to trash something, than accept someone else’s thought or perhaps build on it.
It is also very contagious, how many times have you got caught up in someone else’s moan about something? They start off on a topic and you get involved yourself and end up leaving just as unhappy as they were!
So, why do we enjoy moaning so much? Well, first it can give us a false sense that we have some influence over something that, in reality, we usually do not have any effect over, the performance of a government for instance. In addition, as touched on above it can make people feel superior to those around them because they’ve “spotted a flaw” in an idea that no one else has. Also, sometimes, just venting to a sympathetic ear and ‘getting it off your chest’ can feel great. Strangely, it can also help form a bond between people as you all roll your eyes together and moan about a shared gripe. If you want some advice about how to deal with a constant moaner, there is an article here in Psychology Today that you might useful.
It may be enjoyable in the short term but there is a price to pay for all this moaning. Most importantly, it’s not good for your mental wellbeing, constant carping will slowly but surely bring you down. Also moaning distracts you from from finding a potential solution. So, if you catch yourself moaning all the time, here’s a couple of tips:
- Ask yourself can you actually affect what you’re irritated about? If the answer is no, forget about it and move on.
- If you can affect it, focus on what the solution might be. What are the steps you personally need to take to get to an outcome that you want.
One of the benefits of working for yourself, having moved from working for a company, is the lack of moaning, it’s quite difficult to moan about your own business! The mentality of working for yourself is solely focussed on trying to make the business better, so you simply don’t have time to whine about anything.
So, just remember, ask yourself can you affect it? If so, what do you need to do to get the outcome you want?